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Oscar-winning filmmaker and Omaha native Alexander Payne politely distanced himself from this particular aspect of Nebraskanness: “In my family, we never swang the Dorothy Lynch way.” A still-traumatized Corn Nation’s Joe Johnston wrote that growing up, he ate it on salads when he was over at friends’ homes, where “it was offered up like Jim Jones’ people were offered purple Kool-Aid -– I had to keep up the appearance of a good Nebraskan while all the time wondering how good Christian people could do this to their children.” Lincoln-born Kyle Gibson, who now lives in New York, called it “salad frosting … more at home on pancakes than on iceberg.” Grant Nonya referred to it as “orange corn syrup.” Mark Wells, who says he has “called the DL-soaked city Omaha home for decades,” has an even stronger opinion: “The CIA should douse every bit of food provided for their prisoners in Dorothy Lynch and have them beg to be allowed to tell their secrets to be set free from the saccharine hell to which they’ve been confined.” A Non-Scientific Experiment on the Effects of Dorothy Lynch In the interest of research, I slipped into an unassuming dive bar in New York City’s East Village on a freezing February evening to gauge the taste buds of the uninitiated

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